By Columnist Kim Mi-hee
Why Smell Lingers Longer Than Other Senses
Smell follows a different path than our other senses. What we see and hear passes through several stages before becoming memory, but smell is often said to sit close to the areas of the brain that handle emotion and memory. That is why smell feels less like something we 'recall' and more like something that 'reaches us first.' Often, our hearts respond before we can even name what we are smelling.
Everyone has had this experience: the smell of an old book brings back a childhood library, or a single whiff of doenjang stew unfolds a grandmother's kitchen before your eyes. Without any special effort, scent seems to carry along the air, the temperature and the feelings of that time. This is not some mysterious power, but rather a very natural thread of sensation that we all share.
When Scent Moves First, Where Words Have Stopped
In caregiving, there are days when conversation does not flow easily. You ask a question and the answer comes slowly, or you watch your parent grow hazy about what day it is or what was just said, and your heart sinks. Yet even on such days, some of you may have noticed a flicker of clarity return to your parent's eyes at the smell of a cosmetic they used for years, or clothing they once loved to wear. It is a moment when scent conveys what words cannot.
Whenever I witness this, I am reminded that conversation is not carried by words alone. Rather than asking my mother what she'd like for lunch, I have sometimes simply let her catch the smell of a soup she used to cook often, and watched her expression soften. This does not cure illness or restore what has been forgotten, but it can ease the heart in that moment and create a brief space for remembering together.
Gently Inviting Scent into Daily Life
The most important thing when bringing scent into caregiving is to look for the 'familiar' before the 'new.' A soap your parent kept by their side for a lifetime, a lotion they favored, or the smell of a dish they often ate carries far more power than an expensive perfume or an unfamiliar essential oil. Try to recall that scent, and if possible, keep a handkerchief, soap or cup of tea with a similar fragrance nearby so it drifts past naturally. There is no need to make them smell it deliberately — simply letting it rest quietly in the room is enough.
One thing worth remembering is that people respond to scent differently. The same lavender fragrance that comforts one person may unsettle another. When introducing a new scent, try it in a very small amount for a short time first, and watch your parent's expression and reaction closely. Approach it not with the goal of 'fixing' something through scent, but simply with the wish to make today's air a little more comfortable.
Why Caregivers Need Scent, Too
If everything up to this point has had you thinking only of your parent, I hope you'll take a moment to look at your own day as well. Caregivers are so busy watching over the person they care for that they often notice their own exhaustion only after the fact. Scent can serve as a small but clear pause in such moments — the brief instant of washing your hands and applying hand cream, or breathing in the aroma rising from a cup of tea as it steeps.
During the years I cared for my own parents, the only time in the day that belonged solely to me was often that brief moment of breathing in a scent. It doesn't need to be an elaborate ritual. Choose a fragrance you like, and build a habit of pausing to breathe with it for a moment at the start or end of your day. This will not erase all your fatigue, but it can become a small doorway to self-care, a moment to check in with yourself.
Today's Heart-Care Practice
★☆☆Try today: Open a window and choose one familiar smell in your home — coffee, doenjang stew, an old book, anything — and take three slow, deep breaths of it. A brief moment of focusing your attention on smell can help settle your mind.
★★☆One step further: Recall a scent your parent has kept close for years — soap, lotion, or a food they loved — and breathe it in together, asking gently, 'Do you remember this smell?' It's all right if there's no answer. Simply sharing that moment together is enough.
★★★When you have a moment to spare: Place a drop or two of a fragrance oil your parent finds comforting on a small handkerchief and keep it in a drawer or by their bedside, then pause to steady your breathing with that scent as the day winds down. When the same scent and time are repeated, the body may come to receive it as a signal that it is now all right to rest.
If your parent is sensitive to scents or has weak respiratory health, always try a new fragrance in a very small amount for a short time first, and stop immediately if you notice any sign of discomfort.
For more heart-care stories, visit the Korea Self-Healing Association.
Kim Mi-hee — aromatherapist, social worker, certified care worker, and hospital companion manager — draws on her own experience caring for aging parents to write practical, useful guidance for caregivers in the same situation. The Korean Today, Nam-Incheon.
#WeAreSSaemHeartCareSignal #Aromatherapy #ScentAndMemory #EverydayCaregiving #SelfCare #CognitiveStimulation #FamilyCaregiving
[ Reporter Kim Mi-hee: incheonsouth@thekoreantoday.com ]
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